On Mob Beatings

Jacques Letters to society.

Firstly, the song that carried me through this piece and the only reason why I did not cuss all members of society.

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“Dem just catch thief” has to be amongst the list of statements that get Nigerians excited enough you’d think they are about to have the best sex of their life, base, primal and absolutely mindless. It is right up there with statements “Up NEPA” or “Send Your Account number”

We are so excited by it, we have come up with so many creative ways to humiliate them. Even those caught in churches are not exempt.

Before I go any further, though, I would like to state I am a firm believer in violence being necessary, but only in certain instances, and the bulk of that being self-defense or protecting those you love.

Now back to the orgasmic pull of violence Nigerians have been known to display.
The first truth is that it is not pretty; it’s not tomatoes and rotten cabbages to the head or a railing crowd held off by the police.

No.

Here, everyone has a hand in doling out the punishment. In a country this hard, where the next man is feeling the shege of survival, we now spend days preparing for it, hours plotting how to recreate the crucifixion. The perfect way to slap and humiliate, and we aren’t satisfied until we see blood.

You know the funny part of it. We say to ourselves. They deserve it. We instantly debase them in our minds. Becoming judge, jury, and executioner. But isn’t that the point of herd mentality? We all forget our individual emotions and just become one hive mind with a single directive.

Inflict as much pain as possible.

And maybe they do. I did have conversations with people who have been robbed. There’s a world of pain if they succeed in stealing your property, and you know they might even graduate to violence in some cases. Add the frustrations of being born Nigerian, and you have an extremely volatile, high-violence situation.

Even the most religious amongst us, those who pray 10 times a day and wear their religion on their sleeve, are strangely not exempt from the madness of these situations.

Now let’s look at the types of people in these situations, shall we;

The Punishers

This particular group consists of: the person who was stolen from, friends, if any, or just the random group of bystanders that Nigeria has done dirty. They are either directly affected by the thievery or have found a punching bag to pound out life’s frustrations. Woe be unto you should you encounter them in a group. You see, they actually take pleasure in these situations. And they aren’t even sadists. They just trade in blows and slaps to help reset the brain of the would-be thief and to ease the stress of their existence in a country such as this.

The Late Comers

These are the most annoying set of people in the group. They usually have no context, nor do they have any stake in the item being stolen or the situation. They may just be friends of other punishers who were passing by or in an unrelated class; they just appear to dole out extra blows and slap after everyone is tired and looking for some resolution. Nothing to see here, just your average frustrated Nigerian

The Media Guys

The False Saints, here to capture the moment for posterity or to share with the wider internet. proof that they were there but too cowardly to actually join the punishers, even if they are just as guilty. You actually have the subclass, the advisers under this group. They make the videos or speak only to advise other people. They piss me off with their stupidly pious manner.

The Tyre and Fuel Suppliers

This group astounds me the most. Because murder is encoded in their veins. They just don’t know it. They hear there’s a thief and they quickly run to get fuel and fire. You might think they are caught in the frenzy. But you can see their disappointment when, in rare instances, common sense prevails, and the decision is made not to burn them down. I’d like to think that they have some storehouse of tyres just praying every day that an unfortunate soul is caught so they can perpetrate murder in some quasi-legal situation such as this. Well, I spit on you all. I hope you are caught one day, and you’re burnt too.

The Police

The group is always late, the group never there, the group is with their asses in the air. unable to control a crowd, unable to keep the thieves locked up. Unable to do the job you are paid every month for. But then how could you? You’re sometimes worse criminals than those caught. For jungle justice would be much less if the people had more faith in you. After your initial failure to do your job and protect lives and property.

The Thieves

You see, for this group, I have a deep admiration for the level of stupidity, idiocy, and gall it takes to play such an extreme sport as stealing in Nigeria. It must really be a profound thing. To steal from those with less just because you have less. I think gamblers have pea-sized brains, but you manage to surpass my expectations. I mean, when you were gonna steal, did you see the faces of the people around? Did you not realize that a country like this has had the compassion beaten out of these people? Anyway, you did make your bed, and I am only writing this piece, not because the beatings aren’t deserved but because death isn’t, because life is nuanced and innocents suffer alongside. and mostly for the mercy Christ extended that we all do not deserve.

Lastly, to the General Public

I’d like to believe that Jesus was onto something when he said: “he who has no sin should cast the first stone.” We find it very easy to judge, very easy to castigate, even to the point where the fraudsters and thieves in society have the temerity to call another person a thief, you would think it should make them cover their faces in shame because their comrade was caught.

To build a stronger case, however, let me present some statistics. According to Amnesty International, between January 2012 and August 2023, Amnesty International recorded at least 555 victims of mob violence (how many killed), from 363 documented incidents across Nigeria. Over the period of this investigation, 57 people were killed by violent mobs; 32 were burnt alive, 2 persons were buried alive, while 23 people were tortured to death.

Just think of how many innocents have been killed as part of them. The obvious, readily available examples exist in society.

And if at this juncture your pea-sized brain still cannot comprehend why we should never resort to such violence, let me paint a scenario.

You are walking through the market when an old lady suddenly shouts thief and points in your direction. What exactly can you say to make them believe you didn’t steal? Would your impassioned speech to declare your innocence be before or after you have received a black eye from the punishers within earshot? Or perhaps after sticks and stones have broken your bones.

Perhaps you would wish in that moment, a spectator would speak up for you. Would you pray they had handed you to the police as inept as they are. and if by some terrible unlucky fate ,the tyre is put over you, as you are baptised in fuel, would you have found the perfect words to say by then?

I genuinely think that at this point everyone involved is culpable in the murder and violence as long as they don’t speak up. And if I were God, I would weigh the sin of murder on the souls of everyone present there.

If you still don’t see anything wrong with mob violence after this piece, you are either possessed, an insult to the word stupid, or a reincarnation of the people who crucified Jesus.

I’ll leave you to ponder

Until the next one
Your Sane Non-Violent friend
Jacques🌹

P.S. This piece doesn’t even cover mob violence for other reasons, such as religious blasphemy, as seen in the north, amongst other reasons. Because the apparent logical nature would be lost on the minds of people who perpetrate such violence, as they mostly do it to women and children. Yes, children are burnt alive. But I will say nothing about that in this piece because I am still too angry whenever I think about it.